V.

You know those times when you get really angry and frustrated and you're not even sure why half the time and you try and chill and clear your head but you CANT...?

Last night I was lying on my bed and getting all frustrated, overthinking things, until my head started going round in circles. So I went out with my dog into the fields by my house at midnight.

I stepped out into the clearest and brightest night I'd seen in a long time. I think we all forget about the moon cos we're so obsessed with the sun- when will it be sunny again, where's the warmth gone, I can't wait for summer.....- but the sun is sneakily deceptive. When I see the sun is out, I throw on skirts, tights, and pumps... and then get about halfway down the road before remembering that just because the sun is out, it doesn't make it WARM, and that I will now have to spend the rest of the day freezing my arse off...(it's happened to ALL of us). But the moon is frank and open- it knows it comes out in the cold night and its silvery glow reflects this.

And so I walked out into the freezing cold and just breathed in breath after breath of cold and refreshing air that was so cool I could feel it move into my lungs and swirl around my face and it didn't annoy me, because it made everything so CLEAR. And I could think and see properly. And the sky above me was a limitless dark that stretched from horizon to horizon without an interruption save from the odd tree that popped up inbetween the endless fields. You know those domed snowglobe things you get? It was like I was standing in one of them, seeing everything above me for miles. But instead of snow inside there were stars, and instead of a monument as the focal point there was the moon. Not just any moon but the brightest and hugest moon you can imagine that shone out into the night and gave everything a sharply defined shadow that was somehow emphasised by the soft silvery glow of the ground around it.

I love moments like that. Where you just look at everything and instead of being pessimistic and thinking 'oh my gosh i am so insignificant and what is the point of my life' instead I was thinking 'Oh my gosh, I get to be a part of THIS! And there's a plan for me!'.

It was awesome. The perfect remedy to my self obsessed thoughts and insignificent anger- they melted away with my breath into the air, a twist of white cloud that dispersed into nothingness in a matter of seconds. So unimportant in the grand scheme of things.

I need to take moments like that more often, to concentrate on the world around me instead of just myself, to let God speak to me and just accept my path.

You know what? To you this probably sounds inexplicably ordinary, and by now you're thinking i'm a tad off my rocker... but this is what inspired me to write, and that's the way life goes sometimes.

sorry.

x