Monday 5 April 2010

A day when limitless possibilities close in and suddenly i'm left with an empty box of memories and a half filled house.

Tired and splurging, my brain shouts down to my mouth to say whatever I think, walking backwards but stuck to the floor. Running faster into nothingness and losing everything, no more pictures, no more drawings, no more speaking. Ragged breaths and stabbing pain. A thief, a bastard, a cheat. Hide and seek. It was always there, in the corner of my mind. Hide behind the boxes, crouch and shrink smaller and smaller and maybe we'll disappear.
Too late to change anything, too late to stop so keep running and don't look back because it will all have changed and we'll sink and see too far, past the end and further. Sleep screaming, sleep failing and unprotected. Open and wide and exposed and seen, falling deeper, away from this closer to that. Hitting mud and struggling through, slowing down too much and it's catching up and never running fast enough. What happened to those childhood bikes? They could evade this. Broken bottle and broken brick. This is what I am. When did it come to this? Songs lost along the way and strewn across the roadside, melodies darker. Loud in my ears, blood that beats fast and tears through me.
I've done it. I've shot myself in the foot again.

I am verbal and I am loaded.

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